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Clark Poll

The Draft Clark campaign released the results of a new poll today showing that most Democratic primary voters agree it is not too late for a new candidate to enter the race, and a significant number are already supporting Clark. In looking more closely at the raw numbers from the poll not mentioned in the press release, I discovered some even more striking results:

• When given a bio describing Clark as a "Rhodes scholar" and "former NATO Supreme Commander", voters chose Clark over Bush by 9%. When the word "bootylicious" was added to the Clark bio, his margin rose to an even more imprssive 14%.
• In a result that may explain the struggling campaign of Larry Flynt, voters chose Bush by a large margin over an unnamed opponent described as "a crippled smut peddler with no education and substance abuse issues".
• When asked why they supported their candidate, 43% of Dean backers cited his opposition to the President's Iraq policy, while 26% cited his health care plan. Asked the same question, 100% of the Graham voter said, "I like his crackers."
• 31% of Bush voters said they supported him because his tax cuts had helped ordinary families. Of these, 74% stated they were "very interested" in an opportunity to purchase an oceanfront timeshare in Nebraska.
• Although 73% of voters listed "national security experince" as very important or somewhat important in a prospective President, only 26% rated "former Mr Universe" as important in a prospective Governor. Among Democrats, in a number which seems to be linked to the sinking poll results of Joseph Lieberman, 82% thought it important that the Democratic presidential candidate be "not a Republican".
• When informed of the movement to draft a man in his own age group, 100% of current US Presidents panicked and hid under their desks, until reassured that this form of "draft" didn't involve actual military duties.

  posted by Alex at 10:13 PM